07: ABC Day Siete

Well, I'm 67.2, which makes me happy. I ate only breakfast today. Most of it I hid in my shoe and gave to my dog. Depending on what I lose tomorrow, I will have lost about 6 pounds within a week. I am pleased. No one has commented on my weight loss as of yet, but I'm sure someone will comment by the weekend. It's good to know that having one day of binging will only set me off a little, and I can get back on track quite rapidly now. I am VERY happy. I have a great number of books and work to keep me occupied, and I believe that I will be able to lose another six, if not seven pounds this week. If I go to my mom's this weekend, it will be easy to hide food and throw it away. I cannot turn down any food she offers me because she is very wary of me and my weight, and she doesn't want me to lose any weight. And by then I will be at least ten pounds lighter than when she saw me last. It will be even worse if I don't see her until that following weekend, because I will probably be about... 133 give or take. And I will be able to wear the nice dress I bought! But I will be 20 pounds lighter than when she last saw me and I KNOW that she will say something. Hopefully everyone just smiles and tells me that I look nice, ask me how I did it, and that will be the end of it. And by Christmas I hope to be in the 120's, but I don't want to get carried away. For now my goal is these last 7 pound so that I'm in the 130's. I would be content to be in the mid 130's for a little bit. But then I'll want to go on into the 120's. No turning back, I have to work my way down. I think my UGW is going to be 110, and once I hit that, I will stop. Maybe. I don't know. If I fit into a size 2, I will stop. If I'm smaller than my best friend, then I will stop. I don't know how I was so strong today, but I sat on the couch watching TV and reading for hours and not once did it occur to me to get up and go in the kitchen. It's like I was glued on the spot, and I'm glad. I wish I hadn't had that binge yesterday, it really set be back. But I've gotten back on track like never before. Can I really do this in one run? I'm so excited. Again, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. But still. I can't help but be optmistic. Anyway, I doubt it, but if I lose even a point of a kilo by tomorrow, then I'll go along with the rules of the ABC, otherwise I'm fasting again. And Tuesday, for sure, I'll go along with it. I just want to make sure that I'm not set back by the mini-binge. That food was all so disgusting anyway, I don't know why I bothered. I'm glad to have the weekend over with, the week is always easier. I don't know what I'm going to do over break... probably just do a lot of reading and keep my mind occupied, and making sure that people leave me be and aren't forcing me to eat. I will fast the day before Christmas eve to make room for the food I will inevitably eat. I will make it seem as if I have been eating all that day, so when it comes to meal time, I can get away with only eating a little... or, I'll throw it outside for the cats. I'll figure something out. Either way, I'll be up late working out. And the next day I'll work out all day, tell my mom I want something little to eat and then not eat it. Everyting will be alright. I will fast except for the moments when I am made to eat, and it will be effortless. I'm doing fine. The weekend's always a bit difficult. I'm writing a book about Romans, a romance, and that should keep me busy. It's just for fun, and to take up time, nothing serious. Those always end up to be the best stories, the ones you write for yourself. My stomach hurts a little because of the hunger but I'm trying to ignore it. I hear that eventually the stomach just gives up, and knows it won't get any food so it doesn't try to make you eat anymore. I hope that's true. I tried on the dress that I bought on Black Friday and it looks a LOT better. I may take pictures. Or I'll wait a while, because it still doesn't look all that great. By my cousin's graduation I hope it looks great on me. I know we will end up going out to eat, so I won't eat the day before. See, I've got to plan ahead for so many things. I liked being alone for the most part this weekend. And being with my dad, that's always nice. He's a good guy, didn't ground me when he found weed and a lighter in my room. He's a good guy. He understands me for the most part, just not all of me. I hope I get to go on a trip with him before i go to college, because it'll be hard being away from him, but I will visit often. I know he'll cry, and I will too. But everything will be alright. I'll visit him. Anyway, I'm kind of rambling to ignore the hunger but I guess I'll do some leg lifts and wait for my dad to call me down to the basement to watch america's funniest videos. We're lame, I know.