Tomorrow I'm starting the ABC diet, and I'm determined to at least make it to the 30 day mark. I truly think I could do it if I stay focused on what's important. I can already feel myself distancing away from my friends, all day i've been ignoring texts and calls. I just want to be left alone. I feel off today, kind of dizzy and disoriented like I'm not really myself. Like I'm watching myself move around and I cn't control what I do or say. I think it's because when I look in the mirror I don't see myself anymore. This girl I see isn't me. She's too fat, too disgusting to be me. And I have to be rid of her. I pretty much told my dad yesterday that I don't know why people bother living. I really shouldn't have, because he's just going to be watching me very carefully from now on. Anyway, I'm going to try and post everyday and write about how my day went. Hopefully I can do it this time. Plan for tomorrow:
B: Tea and multivitamin
L: Banana
D: Tea, yogurt. Then one cup of soup with 6 crackers
T: Four hundred calories
I figure that, if I can make it at least half way, I'll lose a pound a day. I'm afraid to weigh myself, so I'm just going to say I weigh 150. So, if I end up making it to the 25th day, and I've lost 1 pound each day, then I will weigh 125. Thus, my goal is 125, because I'm expecting to at least make it halfway through. I feel so strong right now, but I know how easily that could go away.
Sorry for the disgustingness...
No comments:
Post a Comment